Epinions.com According To AJ

The First Time I Ate Clams, I Hated Them!

Introduction: I've just finished reading this thought-provoking piece called...I am an Atheist--do you still trust me?

Although I disagree with the message that there is no God and no life after death, I agree with the advice given to live life to the fullest--though not because I believe that this is all there is.

I left a comment--and my comment was kinda like Topsy in Uncle Tom's Cabin in that it growed and growed.

So, I decided that it was worth sharing elsewhere and might be of help to somebody who was going through a faith-and-doubt struggle.

The title of it is:

The First Time I Ate Clams, I Hated Them!

I love clams, so it's hard to believe that the first time I ate them I spit them out. But it's true. I spit them out and said, "Yeeeeew!"

This happened when I was 12 years old, and the setting was a luau in Honolulu.

I love clams these days whether they're deep-fried or the ones in the big can of chunky-style chowder that is now talking to me and saying, "Eat me! Eat me!"

My first serving of clams was one where they had been served to me raw.

I think that happens in the case of religion--and, especially, evangelizing types of religion such as Christianity and Islam.

It's not that Christianity (my choice) is a bad thing, but it sometimes gets prepared and served wrong so that, when somebody not familiar with it partakes of it, that person is left with a bad taste in his/her mouth.

This has, obviously, happened to you--and it certainly does NOT make you a bad person or one who isn't trustworthy.

I find you to be very honest here in your thoughts, and you've written something really thought-provoking.

Believing in life-after-death doesn't keep me from living this life fully. Unlike some Christians (the type you seem to have encountered most frequently), I don't see this life as nothing but a time of trouble and woe to be wished through and not appreciated because I'm too busy looking for some pie-in-the-sky.

If I didn't believe that there was more than this, I know it would take a lot of the shine out of this life. I want to see my dad again. I don't want to believe that Raymond Woodford Phillips has simply ceased to exist. It's sad enough simply missing him but believing him to be living on, and it would be a horrible thought to think that I was never, ever going to be with him again.

For some reason--that is, until circumstances make some of us change our minds--we have this desire to go on and this belief that we will.

And I've received definite signs that life does go on.

Here's one for you...

I was thinking about Hard_To_Please a few weeks after he passed on, and I looked up at the I-69 overpass about that time and saw this eighteen-wheeler sailing past.

On the side of it was one word--a company name, which was, no doubt, a family name:

ARNOLD

Mark Arnold was the real name of Hard_To_Please, and I believe that he was touching back!

Back in 1969, one of my friends from high school drowned over Memorial Day Weekend while visiting relatives in Shelbyville, Indiana.

Mike was quite an artist, so my dad told me that there would be times when God would put him in charge of painting the sunset.

For many years, I never saw a sunset that had the definite signature of Mike on it--not until about four or five years ago.

One evening, I was running some errands when the song Touch Me by The Doors came on the radio. Mike had told me one time that this was his very favorite rock tune.

Always in the back of my mind, I think of this as Mike's song (that and Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime by Dean Martin, which he was always going around singing), but there are times when I think of Mike even more, and this was one of those times.

All at once, I saw a knockout sunset going on!!!

I believe I felt a lot like George Bailey did when Zuzu pointed out to him that a bell on their Christmas tree was ringing and that "Teacher says everytime a bell rings an angel gets its wings."

But I hadn't see anything yet!

What a treat would happen a few evenings later!

I was closer to Fortville than I was to Shelbyville when Touch Me came on the radio once more--and I noticed that the western sky was coming together in the makings of a beautiful sunset.

Then, I saw it!

There were some storage sheds, and the name of the business was Flat Rock Storage!

As I've said before, this wasn't anywhere near to Shelbyville where Mike had been at the time he'd drowned. However, the river in which he drowned was named Flat Rock River.

Suddenly, the sky was simply ablaze with color and light!!!

My mom and I have seen signs of my dad on more than one occasion, too.

My advice to you and Mark?

Forget about your bad exposure to Christianity. Think of it like I think about my bad exposure to clams when I was twelve years old. (Yeah! That's my tummy you hear growling and my mouth you hear drooling...)

Check out this wonderful book by the late Dr. Gary Cox called THINK AGAIN A Response to Fundamentalism's Claim on Christianity.

This book is in no way, shape, or form pushy, judgmental, or breathing hellfire. It's written by a minister who pretty much saw things as you do now back when he was your age.

Here's how he introduces his book...

"I rejected Christianity when I was a teen and young adult growing up in the Midwest. My primary understanding of the church came from the noisy, in-your-face fundamentalists who dominated the radio and television airwaves during the decades of the 1960s and 70s. My only other exposure came from my classmates at school who had accepted Jesus as their personal savior. Their insistence that I do likewise did not more me any closer to a relationship with Jesus Christ.

The public face of Christianity led to my exploration of other faiths."

Does any of this sound familiar to you?

Here's another passage...

"After taking the Christian faith seriously as an adult and plumbing it for wisdom and theological depth, I discovered that Anglican theologian W.H. Vanstone was correct when he claimed the church is like a swimming pool, with all of the noise coming from the shallow end. I launched out into the deep end of the pool--and I have found comfort and nurture there ever since."

I hope that I've at least piqued your interest somewhat when it comes to exploring that happy medium between what turned you off as children and chucking the whole God thing.

More evidence points to the existence of God than His nonexistence, imo, and more evidence points to life being eternal than to life being temporary and, then, no more. And, frankly, I love it that way!

Blessings!
AJ :-)

posted by Ainsley_Jo_Phillips @ 4:45 PM